Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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