at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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