recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
