Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
