Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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