Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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