If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
did i just pee glitter
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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