Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
