Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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