So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
