Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
