ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
