i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
