You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
