I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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