so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
