So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
