I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
