You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
