He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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