Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
