You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the day after is always just damage control
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
