I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
