Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
