i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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