whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize