ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
