I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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