you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
soo... how was my night?
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