Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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