I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
