It's Friday. Sex?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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