I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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