Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
