I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
