It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
