You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize