The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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