having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
