well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
