Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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