I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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