i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
