he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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