Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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