and next time when you feel me up, do it right
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
