I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
