Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
