You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
