i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Someone shattered a urinal.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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