She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
