Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
