people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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