Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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