About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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