Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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