I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
