PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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