Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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